If you know me in the 'real-world'... Keep it to yourself.

Do NOT tell my friends and family about this blog!

This blog is a work in progress. Eventually, when it grows up, it wants to look pretty. Or maybe dark and dangerous.

Hmm... well come back later and see for yourself...

If you want to contact me but are a) too chicken to leave a public comment and
b) too lazy to look up my email address from my profile
use the form below.

Email Address:

Sunday, September 17, 2006

The Mosquito Mafia

Many of you reading this will assume I'm just trying to be funny. I'm not.

The past few days have been one long war against the Mosquito Mafia in my house. The battle ground is the computer room though we have little skirmishes on the stairs and on occasion in the hall. Actually those skirmishes are usually one sided. I see the enemy relaxing defenceless n swoop, ruthlessly decimating all in sight. But the main battle in the computer room is another story altogether.

The mosquitoes very cleverly took possession of the room so quietly n secretly that no one noticed. The first time it came to my attention was a couple of days ago when one of them (must have been drunk) came buzzing around my head. I killed him of course. What would you have done. And yet, though the kill was only in retaliation to the attack, the mosquitoes decided it was matter of honour and declared war. I was attacked relentlessly. I'd get a few n the rest would lie low. The moment I sat down n lowered my defences another squad would be sent in to take me out.

Eventually I prevailed and the mosquitoes were forced to retreat to higher levels. I would have accepted that. I'm a peace loving person by nature and I would have been ok with sharing the room. As long as the bottom 6 feet were clear they could have had the rest. BUT... I reckoned without their thirst for revenge. The survivors got the word out and soon reinforcements from other families started pouring in. I realised I needed help too. Unfortunately in these sad days good help is hard to find. I tried and met with ridicule. My sister howled with laughter (she still giggles everytime I kill a mosquito), my mom advised Odomus. I refused. There has got to be a better way of defending oneself. I mean c'mon, it's all very well for skunks but really...I didn't ask my dad for help cos I knew he'd wade right in with flit and though personally I love the smell, I knew it might result in my mom leaving before the mosquitoes.

So as you can see I had absolutely no option but to do what I did next. I know it may seem like an unfair measure, but you know they say, 'all's fair in love and war'. And anyway, since they were the ones who brought in outside help, I figured I could take the high tech route. Using brain over brawn. Hence the shift to biological weapons. Some might say overkill. I say dead is dead. Doesn't matter how. Hence I moved the 'All Out' thingy from my room to the war zone. Now the mosquitoes brains are so addled they come and sit peacefully right next to me. At which time I take great pleasure in squishing them. Of course I've considered the fact that they may be trying to surrender. Huh! Unless they find a way of holding little white flags they'd be better off making peace with their maker.


Anonymous said...

If you really want to get rid of the little buggers, tell them to read your blog :-P

Kshitij L said...

Fucking anonymous trolls.

To get results and have fun doing it, I would suggest one of those mosquito swatters which give a jolt to the 'quitos. You wave it around, 'quito gets caught in it, sizzling noise and with a smell of burnt, uh, mosquito, the sucker's dead.

glenn said...

Gosh you've been creating such chaos. thats awful, those poor li'l things. I dont see any 'mosquito mafia' here. its more like 'Karen - The Mosquito slayer'

KD13 said...

@ Miss Anonymous - Fancy that. You're apparently acquainted with literate mosquitos.

@ suspect - you mean with that gizmo it wouldn't be just the power of life and death, I'd also have the power to cause pain? Awww... I want one...

@ glenn - Slayers are cool. They get to play with sharp knives. :p
As for not believing in the existence of the Mafia, just you wait till you're back in Goa and they try to expand their operations into your territory.

Woozie said...

Bug spray with pyrethrins is the only one that actually kills things, it doesn't matter what variety the bottle says it's designed for. Although the only things that work on roaches are flame, bullets, and the foot. Never tried explosives though, might have to try that the next time I see a roach.

sudden_sue said...

hey nice to see you worrying about something other than my blog.
When I have time to think about something that will pass all my rules then i'll post. Meanwhile you keep busy with your mosquito killing. :)

KD13 said...

@ woozie n the others too - doubt anything y'all come up with would match the satisfaction I feel when I dispatch them with my bare hands.

@ susan - Don't worry. no matter how busy i get I'll always have time to bug you. ;)

Kshitij L said...

Another post please.

And you're tagged! Visit my blog to see.

KD13 said...

@ suspect - Grrrrr....

Will do... tomorrow... ;)