If you know me in the 'real-world'... Keep it to yourself.

Do NOT tell my friends and family about this blog!

This blog is a work in progress. Eventually, when it grows up, it wants to look pretty. Or maybe dark and dangerous.

Hmm... well come back later and see for yourself...

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b) too lazy to look up my email address from my profile
use the form below.

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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The man with the power...

He was a mild meek mannered man by day. He seemed to have a complete life. He laughed with his wife and kids in the morning, joked with his friends at work, and they all said, "oh that guy! he's a nice chap".

But little did they know that underneath that calm, sweet exterior there lurked another man. A man with a secret life. A man who influenced hundreds of lives each day.

Why? Because he had power.

Everyday as he waited for the bus he'd look around for someone who needed his help that day. Aaah, a girl wearing a short skirt. Who did she think she was. She was just asking for it. Standing there with that attitude. He'd stare at her legs. When she shifted uncomfortable he'd exult with satisfaction. Oh, she was enjoying it wasn't she. The bitch. His eyes would roam upwards. she'd turn her back towards him. Pity.

Then the bus would come. He'd reach the door and then purposely slow down so that she could enter first. He'd press himself against her and delight if she stumbled and lost her balance. Then he could officiously press forward to help. Oh madame, do you need some help. He'd extend his hands and hold her arm. She'd shake him off and glare and walk away and stand next to the driver.

He'd look around. She was starting to act tough. Too bad. But there was so much choice here.
Ahh, there was a pretty girl in a salwar. She hadn't seen him yet. No matter. He'd stand next to her. Oh, that was a curve. He swayed with the bus. She felt so soft. Damn, he wished he could use his hands. No matter. Maybe he'd just rub himself against her. She was trapped by the people around. All his. What! She was trying to move away. Turning to glare as if she wasn't secretly turned on too. Yeah right! Sorry madame, this bus is so crowded no? Public transport is so bad.

She's saying she has to get off at the next stop. It's his stop too. But he'll wait for her to get down first. That way she has to squeeze past him. There'll be a lot of confusion. She'll be worried that the bus might not stop for long. And the bus will be still. His hands will be free. To 'help' her squeeze past him.


I made myself literally sick writing this. I feel like puking up my lunch. But I decided to post it anyway because I know this man. Almost every girl will know him. Or someone like him.

I've met him on buses, at work and even in church. He has made me feel helpless. He has made me feel like I'm to blame.

I haven't met him recently because I now avoid public transport and crowds as far as possible. But not every girl has that luxury.


Edit: Oh yeah, now I carry safety pins every time I'm forced to use public transport.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

with apologies to all Tarzan fans...

I found myself watching Tarzan yesterday. I've never bothered to watch the whole thing before cos he always reminds me of an animated Arnold Schwarzenegger with all his bulging muscles. I've never seen the start. This time I started watching when he first meets Jane...

Anyway this is my take on the scene where his chimpanzee mother is showing him the tree house where they found him for the first time.

Start of scene: Tarzan picks up an old photo of his family and turns questioningly to the chimpanzee...

Mother Chimp: "Yes, that's your family Tarzan. Your father, mother and you."

Tarzan: "What happened here!?!"

Mother Chimp: "You see, it was a long dry summer that year... Food was scarce... We were roaming the valleys searching for our next meal. And then one day, just in time for dinner, we saw your family."

A reminiscent smile plays across Mother Chimp's face...

"We feasted that day. We wanted to have you as an appetiser but we were too hungry. We started straight off with the main course. Your dad was excellent, and your mom made a fine dessert."

Tarzan makes a strangled sound, Mother Chimp carries on undisturbed.

"We carried you along intending to fatten you up a bit.
I've never held with playing with one's food as you know. If I've told the kids once, I've told them a hundred times not to play with you. But it was no use. We were forced to keep you as a pet."

Tarzan's eyes fill with tears, and he bawls like a baby.

Mother Chimp: "Now what's wrong?!?"

Tarzan: "You mean I'm a pet???"

Mother Chimp: "Well, yes. Why? What's wrong? You've had pets of your own. What about the baby rabbit you rescued, and the little antelope you used to play with..."

Tarzan: "But mama... you don't understand... I ATE them!!!"


Edit: Ok, the chimps are actually gorillas. For all those who give a damn. :)

Friday, October 27, 2006


I have a friend who I'm going to call Layla.

I first met Layla when I'd just had a big change in my life. She was distant at first. We lived in the same flat and though we were thrown together a lot, she stayed aloof. At first I thought it was cos she was so proud of all that she'd achieved. Though she was just a couple of years older, she had a good job and was earning really well for someone of her age, sex and background.

And then I got to know her story. She had an abusive boyfriend. She'd been hurt many times. Hospitalised twice. She'd tried to kill herself once. All that money she earned went straight to her account and her dear boyfriend kept her ATM card. When she needed money she had to ask him to withdraw it and then had to account for every penny she spent.

I didn't realise how bad it was at first. I thought he was just a controlling jealous freak. I was a little rude to him one day when he dragged me into one of their fights. That day she came home with her hand twisted so badly she couldn't use it for almost a week. Another time he kept calling and cursing and we were so scared that he'd come and try to hurt her we both got out of there at dawn and stayed away the whole day.

I kept telling her to leave the guy. She kept telling me she couldn't. That this was the life she had chosen and that she had to stick to it. She was just in her mid-twenties but she believed she couldn't start again. She used to tell me everything would be okay once they were married.

I left that place a few months later.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this here. She's married now. To the same guy. I've met her and she seems the same. Her life hasn't changed much. I didn't ask her if he still beats her. Call me a coward if you will, but I didn't want to know. I saw the way he yells at her. Some things never change.

It takes courage to face things head on, sure. But it also takes courage to cut your losses and walk away. I wish I had helped her find that courage.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Monday, October 16, 2006

This one is for the guys...

For some reason guys are always comfortable coming to me for advice. Single guys and not-so-single guys. And since all girls discuss their problems with their friends, I've had to deal with more than my fair share of 'relationship problems'.

This post is for the single guys who say they don't want to remain single. It's NOT for those singles who've decided that they'd rather stick to their bachelorhood. It's not for guys who are just looking to get dates. That's fine as long as they know what they want. This post is only for those single guys who say they want a serious relationship. I've listed what I believe are 2 major reasons most guys I know are having trouble 'getting a girl'. There are loads more. But these two are real problems that most guys will ignore if possible. I have friends who think they only need a great car n oodles of money to get girls falling all over them. Well, no car and no amount of money is going to get you a serious relationship with any woman worth having.

1] Most guys don't really like girls. As human beings. And I'm dead serious about this. Most of the guys I know, like me as a friend, but they insist that girls in general are 'money-crazy bitches'. They think girls are shallow, vain, shopping-crazy, manipulative etc. And then they all bitch n moan that they have trouble getting a girl. That is so crazy. Girls can pick up the signals you send out. When I'm talking to a guy, I'm not going to want to spend time with him if he gives out a signal that says that he believes that all girls are bitches. No way. Not even to prove him wrong. I might have tried to get him to change his mind 5-6 years ago when I was very naive. But now I know that anyone who thinks that way, is just going to be on the lookout for evidence to prove his point.

2]Most guys know nothing about girls. And they don't want to know. Not really. They'd be bored out of their skulls. They assume that all they have to do is meet the 'right' girl n then everything will fall into place n they'll live happily ever after. They don't realise that any girl can be the 'right' girl if they just take the trouble to learn about women. All women are similar. We can all be angels or demons at different times. Very few guys will take the trouble to try n understand the girl's point of view. Tell them there's a book that will explain women and they don't bother to read it. What kind of attitude is that. If a guy can't be bothered even before getting the girl, what are the chances he'll bother later. Slim to none. Even if there's a problem later he'll just pretend there's no problem until the girl walks out on him. And then he'll bitch about her to his friends. You can't expect to understand women instinctively. Women are different. We think differently and we act differently. What we think is caring you think is interfering. You see the problem here? We go out of our way to show you we care. We expect some appreciation and love. Instead we get crucified for 'interfering'!

I'm not defending girls here. So please spare me calls n mail telling me girls are evil and that guys are to be pitied. If you think girls are evil you should be determined to stay a bachelor. Nothing wrong with that. Some girls may indeed be worthy of scorn. But reserve your scorn for those girls. Don't shove all your anger and all your 'issues' on every girl you meet. And please do read some good 'relationship' books.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Clemens Konieczka - 'Old Room'

I'm not sure what I want my blog to look like. All I know is that I was fed up of the old look. Hence the all black look. Expect to see changes every now n then until I settle on something timeless.

And since I'm not in the mood to post I'm just going to add one of my favourite works of art here.

It's called Old Room. The artist is Clemens Konieczka.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

The Shiv Sena

My blog needs an update and I think I've rattled on long enough about myself. Also it's been a long time since I've had a chance to vent my spleen at someone or something. So instead of focusing my illuminating spotlight on myself today I shift the focus onto one of my pet peeves: The Shiv Sena.

Warning: If anyone reading this is a supporter of the Shiv Sena, please stop here and go back to inciting trouble somewhere. You're not going to like what follows.

For people expecting an unbiased post: get real! I know I'm right. Why shouldn't I be biased.

Ok, for starters, if I had to test a nuke device I'd stick the Sena on an island n try it on them. They are communalists of the worst kind. The kind that portray themselves as nationalists. In fact they actually seem to believe that. Poor souls. I don't know what the Sena high command i.e. Bal Thackeray, really believes, but he banks on the frustration of the middle class and keeps the fires burning.

If the Sena doesn't have a viable issue to riot about, lo and behold, they'll create one. I've been trying to remember all the stuff they've done over the years. It's tough. I think I'll just start this off with what I can remember from the top of my head and I'll post a scrap or two everytime they riot again. Just following their antics will ensure I post often.

In 1998 Shiv Sainiks attacked movie theatres in Mumbai over Fire, a Deepa Mehta film with a lesbian theme.

In 1999 I remember their outcry against the visit of the Pakistani team. The threat that they'd dig up the cricket pitch at Mohali. In fact they actually did vandalise the cricket pitch at Firoz Shah Kotla in Delhi to stop the Pakistani cricket team from playing there.

I remember the protests each year against the celebration of Valentines Day. The Hallmark stores that were stormed and the cards that they burnt. Their reasoning... The celebration of Valentine's day is a western concept that should not be allowed in India. Whether they believe India and Indians are the personal property of Bal Thackeray is a question that should be settled sometime soon. Maybe a few open debates on the issue would help settle my queries. Unfortunately the Shiv Sena isn't known for it's debating skills. The last editor of a local daily that tried to take them on was attacked.

I'm not sure what the official Sena response to that was but they have a pretty standard spiel that they use each and every time the violence goes too far and they have to excuse themselves.

They used it when a statue of Bal Thackeray's wife was defaced in July(someone threw some mud on it... big deal). I think even their own supporters would have said their reactions were disproportionate to the original incident. However the standard Shiv Sena response was parroted forth as usual. "Of course we don't endorse violence, but our people are very high spirited. They could not bear the insult." Details below

Earlier, the statue of Shiv Sena chief Bal Thackeray's wife was allegedly desecrated at Shivaji Park on Sunday morning by unidentified miscreants.

In protest, Shiv Sainiks went on a rampage and torched a tourist bus in the area. They also blocked the main road at Shivaji Park.

The Sainiks claimed that the miscreants had thrown mud on Thackeray's wife, Meenatai's, statue. Meanwhile, a bandh has been called by the party in Navi Mumbai.

Shiv Sainiks also damaged a police outpost near Shivaji Park alleging that the police failed to nab the culprits although the outpost was just a stones throw away from where the incident took place.

Shiv Sena has said that it would not allow state Assembly proceedings to go on until those responsible for the defacing of the statue are arrested.

A clash was reported from Andheri in which a senior police officer, Rajendra Thakur, was seriously injured. Sainiks burnt effigies at Andheri West and all shops were shut down in the area.

Meanwhile, at the Mumbai domestic airport the ground staff has gone on a strike to protest against the incident.

"Things had gone out of control but now the situation is returning to normalcy. However, sporadic incidents of stone pelting have been reported. Extra reinforcements have been called and Sena leaders have assured us that law and order will not get out of control," Joint Commissioner of Mumbai Police, Arup Patnaik said.

At Shivaji Park, the police fired teargas to disperse protestors.
Senior Sena leader Manohar Joshi has threatened drastic action against those involved in the desecration of the statue.
Joshi has threatened to bring life to a standstill in Dadar and other Sena strongholds in the city.

"Meenatai, whom the Shiv Sainiks called Maasaheb, is like God to us. Our God has been insulted here. There will definitely be reaction to this," an agitated Joshi said.

This was said of a woman whose greatest role was the one she played as wife of Bal Thackeray. Whether putting up with him, earned her a statue in a public place is anyone's guess.

This was said of a woman whose husband was prosecuted for inciting communal violence and who very famously threatened "India will burn."
Thackeray warned. "I am not threatening but warning. The NDA Government had better be aware. This is not a virus that will be restricted to Mumbai and Maharashtra. It will spread through the country."

What more can I say...

You may wonder what today's violence was about... The Shiv Sena is starting to feel the pangs of succession. Bal Thackeray's nephew n protege Raj Thackeray, left the party and set up his own, when his uncle decided to stick with his son Uddhav Thackeray as his successor. Today the workers of both the parties clashed. Yippee. It may be bad for the average mumbaikar but as a distant observer I can't help but gloat over the idea of dissension in the ranks. Maybe they'll all kill each other.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Better safe than sorry... or not.

This isn't really meant to be a post. It's more of a commentary on the replies I got to my previous post.

I've always thought following one's dreams is the highest call there is. And that's what I always tell everyone. I'm the girl who advised a friend to quit law n follow her dream of becoming an air hostess. She didn't take my advice. Is she happy now? I don't dare ask. Whenever anyone comes to me and talks of following their passion, I'm happy for them and do my best to cheer them on. Not that I ever advocate anything as drastic as walking out on your day job when you've got a family of four to feed. But when you have a chance, you should grab it, and thank God for it. I guess I honestly believe if you have a passion you can make it work.

My problem was that I had no passion. All I wanted was to have a good time. I got good grades cos I enjoy learning new stuff. Exams are easy for me. I rarely topped but then that would have required more effort than I was ready to invest. But finding something to work for, something that I'd enjoy doing even if I was a millionaire n didn't need a job... now that was hard.

And somehow I thought everyone would be happy that I finally found my dream. But everyone's attitude seems more along the lines of 'better safe than sorry'. I'm not just talking about my blog-world here. Even in the real world, no-one, not one person I've mentioned my idea to, is in favour of it.

Of course that's not going to stop me. Luckily for me I've been blessed with the ability to go my own way reagrdless of the approval or disapproval of people around me. Except my parents. Their disapproval always hurts even when I don't let it show.

Which is why they know nothing of this.

But I'm still surprised by the number of 'better safe than sorry' people out there. It's scary but exhilarating. I guess I'm one of those people who loves being in the minority. I love all you people who care enough about me to try n keep me grounded. But, damn it, I want to fly!

Just curious... all you people reading this. If you didn't need to work, if you had all the money you could ever want, what would you do with your life? How would you spend your days? Lazing about might seem attractive for a while but men (and women) are said to need a purpose in life to keep them happy.

Any thoughts?

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

...Robert Frost


I'm fast approaching a fork in the road, and I truly believe that I must take the road less travelled. I only wish I knew why. Is it laziness? Is my choice based on all the wrong reasons?

All I know is that it is something I must do. It is something I have always done. How could I have been so blind not to see before. Do travellers sometimes take the wrong road. And if they do, are they doomed to always walk alone. Does their heart travel on the other route leaving them dispirited and lonely.

I want to be a complete person. I want to be a happy person. I've seen people settle for what they think is the best that life can offer. That's just a load of crap. Do what you have to do to survive, but do it whilst you walk on your own road.

Sunday, October 01, 2006


About a week back I was tagged by suspect. I very stupidly said I'd do it. That was a few days ago, true, but never let it be said that I don't keep my promises.

[Any smartass comments about the movies I like n you'll burn in hell if I have my way.]

1. The last movie you saw in a theater, and current-release movie you still want to see:

Hmmm... these days I seem to be watching only Hindi movies in the theatre. No idea why. Anyway the answer is 'Woh Lamhe'. Just saw it today. If I'd answered this last week I'd have answered 'Lage Raho Munnabhai'.
Current release... maybe 'Dor'.
But definitely want to watch 'Zindagi Rocks' when it releases. [Do y'all see what I mean about my Hindi movie phase.]

2. The last movie you rented/purchased for home viewing:

I don't rent movies any more. When I can buy 5 movies on 1 DVD for just 80 bucks in Bangalore it seems pointless to rent. And when I do buy, I buy in bulk. I last bought 10 DVD's together. I'm not going to list all 50 movies here so I'll answer this by saying the last movie I downloaded was 'Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest'.

3. A movie that made you laugh out:

English - Overall the most I remember laughing was at a real old one called 'The General'

Hindi - 'Lage Raho Munnabhai'

4. A movie that made you cry:

English - I can't cry at sad scenes. When people are dying I laugh So here I'm listing 2 movies which always make me cry with... well not happiness. Just some strong emotion.
'While you were sleeping' - the wedding scene when Sandra Bullock leaves Peter at the altar.
'Independence Day' - During the speech.
I've seen both many times. N I cry each n every time.

Hindi - 'Lage Raho Munnabhai'

5. A movie that was a darling of the critics, but you didn't think lived up to the hype:

English - Far too many to name but will just list a few sets that didn't deserve the fame they got.
Mission Impossible 2 & 3 [I loved the original T.V. series n hate Tom Cruise so this is easy]
The Matrix Sequels [Too dark. Literally]
the Godfather Sequels. [yes I love The Godfather. Both the book and the movie. And I hated both Godfather 2 & 3. N I don't care what anyone says]

Hindi - 'Rang De Basanti' [I tried watching this twice at home n fell asleep within the first 10 minutes both times. Since it's India's entry at the Oscars I'm hoping the remaining 21/2 hours are better. ]

6. A movie that you thought was better than the critics:

English - Nope. Got nothing to complain about here. The critics pretty much agree with me.

Hindi - 'Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna' [I've written a full post on it here which says it all.]

7. Favorite animated movie:

English - 'Shrek', 'The Lion King'

Hindi - Don't think I've ever seen one.

8. Favorite Disney Villain:

Don't know if this counts but I love Tom. I always hope he catches Jerry and swallows him whole.

9. Favorite movie musical:

English - I love old English movies so this is a tough one but I think I'll pick 'Seven Wives for Seven Brothers'

Hindi - Almost all Hindi movies are musicals so once again a tough one. Three movies where I really enjoyed the songs are 'Josh', 'Kal Ho Na Ho' and 'Woh Lamhe'.

10. Favorite movies of all-time (up to five):

I'm just going to pick one. N anyone who has a problem with my choice can go suck eggs.