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Monday, May 03, 2010

False friends and false memories

I don't understand how people can cling to the past so much. I have a few friends who are still carrying the torch for their exes. Though they were cheated on / lied to / taken for granted / abused / misled... they still persist in absolving the other party of any of the blame. They continue to remember the "good times" and continue to enjoy memories of "the good old days when...".

I'm not like that.

When I was in college I had a friend I'll call Racheal. We had some good times together until I found that she was not really as fond of me as she pretended to me. I can no longer look back at the times I shared with her with any joy. Every time I remember the times we laughed together, my memories are tainted by the thought that maybe she was also laughing at me for not seeing through her. Each time I remember the secrets we shared I wonder at myself for not seeing through the facade faster.

I can never look back at a memory and see it untouched by what I know now.

Good, bad or ugly you decide.


xte2yzyo said...

I dont know whether I got it right. But hanging on to the past, I think we all do in certain ways. I might miss something some relationship, but I might miss the feeling more and not the person. Not sure though whether I am making any sense. But yes, I concur to what you say. I can never look back and smile while thinking about a person who didnt like as much as she/he pretended. The heart cracks at the thought