If you know me in the 'real-world'... Keep it to yourself.

Do NOT tell my friends and family about this blog!

This blog is a work in progress. Eventually, when it grows up, it wants to look pretty. Or maybe dark and dangerous.

Hmm... well come back later and see for yourself...

If you want to contact me but are a) too chicken to leave a public comment and
b) too lazy to look up my email address from my profile
use the form below.

Email Address:

Monday, July 11, 2011

And God Was On Holiday

She lay on the bed, stuffing a blanket in her mouth to stifle the sounds. Not that anyone would hear her anyway. Her next door neighbours were 3 walls away. They wouldn't hear her unless she screamed.

You may wonder why she tried to hide the sounds of her crying. She wondered too. Maybe it was more dramatic that way. Also, that way she didn't shock herself out of her crying jag. She'd been crying off and on all day. Putting on a fine performance for the Lord. Only he didn't seem to be watching.

Earlier in life God had actually responded to her pleas. Maybe now she was too far across the line for Him to be interested. Or maybe He felt she only remembered Him when she was sad. But that wasn't it. And being God He should have known that. She prayed to Him even when she was happy. Maybe cos she was always scared it wouldn't last. After all, it never did.

But still she tried. She'd lost faith in people. If she also lost faith in Him what else was left for her? Poor miserable piece of trash that she was.

But only inside. And only to herself at times ike this. People who saw her never saw the trash. Some saw a snob. Others a slut. Still others saw a child. All of them were right but all of them were wrong.

So she cried. Because almost no one saw her for who she was. And the one person who did, no longer saw her at all. And that,my friends, was the most painful loss of all.

Love, money, friends.... she'd lost them and lived. But this was the first time she did not have a single soul to look at her and see her for who she was. And God was on holiday.