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Thursday, December 28, 2017

Random thoughts of a tired mind...

Read an interesting article here.

It explains how in an increasingly cluttered and confused world, we can only move ahead if we learn to prioritise.

Here's an extract:

In order to become successful in the first place, you must have incredible focus.

  • You must have a clear aim
  • You must create conditions to make your aim happen
  • You must develop daily routines to ensure the achievement of your aim
  • You must take calculated risks, such as making investments in yourself, your skills, and your relationships (this is what separates you from the dreamers, who constitute at least 90% of people)

Once you’ve developed a certain degree of success, your ability to focus will become more scattered than ever. People will want your time and attention. Countless “opportunities” will present themselves to you.

You will be highly swayed by these opportunities. People will sense that special spirit about you. They’ll want what you have. They’ll be persistent and relentless about getting your time and energy directed toward their goals.

You’ll have a hard time saying “no.” Given that you’ve learned how to be productive, you’ve developed amazing capabilities and confidence — you’ll try to extend yourself beyond harmonious limits.

You’ll try to satisfy people you shouldn’t satisfy. It will end up costing you a great deal — in emotions, time, and self-respect (and will also cost others their time as well).

And it struck me that this focus and success that the article speaks off are related to so much more than business and earning money (which is what I thought at the start).

It's actually something I've been doing the last few years - although I didn't know how smart I was being.

A few years ago I made bucket lists of my friends and family. I divided them into A's B's and C's depending on how important they were to me. And every now and then I'd revise the lists and move people up and down. This was not done with any specific goal in mind. I just wanted to know who was important and who was not. But once I did that I suddenly realised it made my life so much simpler.

I've limited 'social energy'. That's energy for any task involving another human being or any task that isn't on my [very short] list of things I really love to do - Read, sleep, cook, eat, solve puzzles - in no particular order. [I'm not including listening to music here because I never do that as a stand alone activity. Music rarely requires, or gets, my entire focus. Instead it's the background to my entire day]

So yes, getting back to social energy, I don't have much. Suddenly thanks to my grading system I didn't have to struggle to make decisions about what to say yes to, it's easy.

[Of course easy is relative - For most people my mind probably seems too complex - but I can't help it - This is really what I do every time I have to make a decision that involves using social energy.]

So anyway, now I have very clear rules about what I'd do for people in these categories -

The A's - I'll do pretty much anything for this bunch. Up to but not including donating my organs. I'm not going to hamper my health for anyone - guess that's the privilege of not having a husband and kids. :D If I get married and have kids I'll have to create another higher category for them. [I did spend an entire week on bread and eggs because I lent all my money to a friend who needed money urgently but I don't think that hampered my health -- it probably improved it!]

The B's - I enjoy their company, like them a lot, and will do a lot for them as long as it doesn't require major sacrifices.

The C's - I like these people when they are around but won't go out of my way to meet them. I'll help them out if they ask and I'm able to do it without any significant hardship (but then that I'd probably do for a stranger too)

Monday, December 25, 2017

Merry Christmas...

Why do people only want what they don't have and not value what they do??

I've been guilty of this mental mismatch too and I've never really found a solution.

But just cos I don't know the solution intellectually doesn't mean I'm fool enough to get it wrong in my every day actions.

I check how important people are to me by how well I'd do without them in my life. So if I'd miss them... I take care of them.

If they've been there for me. I appreciate them and make them feel special if I can.

Friendship isn't all fun and games for me. It's something deeper, something much more lasting. Something with flesh on its bones.

Monday, December 18, 2017

Leda Watefront - Siridao

Second time here -

Came back for the banana cocktail. Ordered it again and unfortunately it looked and tasted a bit different today. Wondering if they gave me the mocktail last time inadvertantly.  But anyway it was still quite nice.

Calamari in white chilly sauce or something - lovely. Very very filling though. That sauce is heavy!

Chicken lollipops are not the usual red - quite nice

Finished with appams and some Indian Mutton dish that the waiter recommended. The mutton was nice - soft and falling off the bone. The appams were enjoyable as always.

But despite all this praise for the food, the thing I liked the most about the place was the ambiance. It's a lovely place to bring someone who wants the unspoilt Goan beach vibe. Just beautiful!

Took loads of pics of the place - and of a section of the beach where Britney went crazy and write her name several times.

I don't know who Britney is but here's hoping she's over the phase of seeking validation from writing her name in the sand... :D

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Spicy Bella

Canadian cousins invite us over to dinner at a place they've discovered - Spicy Bella somewhere in Colva. Google maps insists it's Spicy Bellla. hmm..

I'm not feeling well, and if I were I'd have wanted to go for the FG Goa match but duty calls and sis and I fight our way through what I call clutch pedal traffic*.

*That's when you're in a jam, that inches forward randomly the moment you think of switching the car off. So you have to sit there, left foot on the clutch, right foot on the brake, tapping the accelerator just enough to move an inch forward  every now and then. And no, you cannot switch off and allow the car in fron to move a couple of feet forward before you switch on again cos you're surrounded by cars and gnats bikes trying to cut the line.

So getting back to my sorry tale... We reach. The place looks inviting, colourful. Hmm.. I can't see any TV. I was promised a TV so I could watch the game. Grrr...

Ah.. cousins message and say come upstairs. Maybe that's where the TV is.


Okay. The TV is a little 20 inch screen. And I can't even grumble cos apparently the owner carried it up just cos they requested him and set it up and all. I'm grateful... honest I am. But he's so smug!

The game was fun, the food - not.

They ordered fish cutlets. The chef said he didn't know how to make them. They tried explaining, but the instructions clearly weren't getting thru. Later we realised what a blessing that was.

Most of the food ordered as starters was spicy - tasty also... yay for them... but spicy - decidedly not yay for me with my bad throat. One bite and I'm coughing so badly, I run to the loo so that I didn't end up peeing right there! I decide to order butter garlic squid - tasty and non-threatening and hard to get wrong. It's not on the menu, but they have recheado squid and other variants, (and the owner has just finished bragging how they've been there for 5+ years and are known for their quality and have survived because they are the 'REAL DEAL') so I'm quite confident.

My confidence was misplaced.

The squid comes, thick and tasteless. Rings clogged in thick cream. Not even salted properly. I eat one spoon and then leave the others to suffer for my mistake. They manfully finish it. We all agree that we're gonna stick with the menu for the mains and give thank's that we didn't get his version of fish cutlets.

We ask the chef to recommend the specialties and he starts rattling off Murg Lababdar, and Murg somethingdar and Murg somethingelsedar. Forget the restaurant being here for 5 years - at this point I think these are north Indians who've just landed in Goa and their Goan dishes are clearly just guesswork. We decide to play it safe with Biryani and Alu gobi. The food arrives, we eat and leave.

Click a picture to rememeber the evening, walk to the car, and offer to drop them off. The boys say they'll walk it out. Cousin M says she'll come with us cos she's starting to feel queasy. While we're debating whether the guys should just get in with us, she feels worse and runs back into the hotel to use the toilet. Uh oh. They're supposed to be flying out the next day. This is not good.

Well we drop them off and head home and suddenly sis says, can I open the window, I don't feel so good...

Verdict: Wild horses wouldn't drag me to Spicy Bella ever again. If I see that lying owner I'd be so rude I'd get kicked out anyway.

Thursday, December 07, 2017

Cluck Tales...

Tried the new menu at Cluck tales...

Well it's new. That's all the good I can say about it.

The bad?

Crazy monk chicken sucked.
BBQ chicken was okay... Very dry but they gave us more sauce when we grumbled.
Chicken tenders were okay... The Jalapeno sauce saved it...

Verdict: I'm not eating a meal here in the foreseeable future. If anyone wants to eat here, I'll tag along and try the appetizers and the desserts.

Thursday, November 30, 2017

FC Goa Wins!!!

FC Goa did us proud! Go Gaurs!! Very few expected the Goans to win against in-form Bengaluru FC. For one thing, they have been playing together for much longer than the other teams in the ISL. For another, they have some of the stars of Indian football in their line-up — including, but not restricted to the current Indian football team captain Sunil Chetri, and the Indian national team goalkeeper Gurpreet Singh Sandhu. (On a side note, apparently Fatorda isn’t good for Chetri. Ah well… ) For a third, the Gaurs, playing with a larger contingent of Goan players than ever before, have been at the receiving end recently, with Captain Kattimani coming in for a lot of flak for letting goals through ‘right between his legs’ as woeful fans complain. Safe to say that the mood before the game was a mix of defiant “Goa will win!” from young optimists (some literally young and some young-at-heart) to a more pragmatic “B’lore is the far better team” from more experienced and jaded supporters. But defiant or pragmatic, what counted was that the fans came — from all over Goa and even abroad. Several Goan-origin Canadians, down in Goa for vacations, made their way to Fatorda to cheer.

The game started with the Bangalore team bowling the Goan players over here, there and everywhere. The crowd booed and roared and then the Gaurs hit their stride with the Goan supporters finding a new love. While Mandar and Bruno Pinheiro seemed to get the loudest cheers at the start, by the end of the game there was just one name on everyone’s lips — Coro. Ferran Corominas, “Coro”, has gone in the record books as the first scorer of a hat-trick in the ISL 4. And he did it in style. His first goal was a beaut. He elegantly dodged his marker, Rahul Bheke, displaying beautiful control and making it look effortless, as he found the net leaving the much vaunted BFC keeper, Gurpreet Singh Sandhu looking lost. The crowd went crazy with delight, but didn’t have long to celebrate as less than five minutes later Miku scored for Bangalore — right between Kattimani’s legs. The contrast of the moment couldn’t have been more as silence greeted the equaliser, with only the Bengaluru team celebrating. And then 13 minutes later Coro did it again. A beautiful, long free-kick from Manuel Lanzarote Bruno, “Lanza”, found Bruno Pinheiro, who headed the ball to Coro, well placed in front of the goal, making no mistakes in scoring his second. At that point everyone watching the game knew they were in for a brilliant night of football.

The second goal seemed to spur Lanza on even more, impressive considering he’d been a live wire right from the start. His swarm around the Bengaluru keeper resulted in Gurpreet losing his cool and shoving him. For which Gurpreet was promptly red-carded — much to the excitement of the home crowd. Lanza himself took the penalty, successfully sending the BFC reserve keeper the wrong way, to send the Gaurs 3-1 up — much to the delight of the crowd. “Now we’re home safe” crowed some of the young guns. But the more experienced heads shook warningly, “Bangalore can score even with a 10-man team. We need to be careful!” The buzz turned to discussing how Gurpreet, believed to the most expensive Indian player in the ISL, needed to show more restraint, with many excusing his aggression because of his youth. Not surprisingly, Bangalore seemed defensive in the final 10 minutes of the first half, leaving the young guns smug.

The second half started with a resurgent BFC. It was time for the experienced watchers to sorrowfully nod “I told you so” as 10-man BFC equalised within a space of five minutes.

Kattimani impressed me twice in the match… once at the start, about 12 minutes into the game. His second moment of grace came 11 minutes into the second half when he leaped to send a fine strike by BFC’s Miku over the net. I had hardly finished cheering and clapping for him when BFC scored from the ensuing corner, leaving Kattimani looking like an amateur. Five minutes later all the Goan fans were distraught when BFC cut right through the Goan defence as if it were asleep, with Miku once again coming through, catching an onrushing Kattimani high and dry.

Just when it looked like FC Goa had managed to snatch a draw from the jaws of victory, Coro came through again, saving the Gaurs from what would have been a very embarrassing outcome on it’s home ground to a 10-man visiting team. What a night it was — as the players walked of the field, Goan fans could slow their thumping hearts and make plans for December 9, when FC Goa take on Kerala Blasters FC in the second of nine games that will be played at home.

FC Goa coach Sergio Lobera stayed with the “we are a team” mantra when asked questions about concerns about Kattimani, and Coro’s brilliant streak, refusing to single out individuals, either for praise or blame. However, he did say, “We need to improve a lot with what we're doing, particularly because we allowed a team with 10 men to come back from a two-goal deficit,” showing that he is very well aware of gaping defence issues his team faces.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Hello world...

Turned 36 a couple of days back and realised I'm finally at a place where I'm working on being authentic all the time. Which means no hiding behind anonymity. So I can let real me and blog me merge...

Not that I'm going to go crazy and give everyone my blog url right away... Lol. But slowly... 

Thursday, March 09, 2017

Sharing interests...

When you care about someone you learn to care about some of their core interests... Not because stamp collecting suddenly got cool, or because you've fallen in love with reading when you never went beyond Archie comics before. You care about their interests because of the way their eyes sparkle, because these things make them laugh n cry. You care because they care. You listen, just to hear the passion in their voice. Their feelings move you. It's that simple.

If all you want to talk about or listen to are the interests you share in common then I'm sorry... You'll never be permanent in my inner circle because you're not my kind of person. One day I'll get bored, label you selfish, and throw you out of my life.