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Thursday, December 28, 2017

Random thoughts of a tired mind...

Read an interesting article here.

It explains how in an increasingly cluttered and confused world, we can only move ahead if we learn to prioritise.

Here's an extract:

In order to become successful in the first place, you must have incredible focus.

  • You must have a clear aim
  • You must create conditions to make your aim happen
  • You must develop daily routines to ensure the achievement of your aim
  • You must take calculated risks, such as making investments in yourself, your skills, and your relationships (this is what separates you from the dreamers, who constitute at least 90% of people)

Once you’ve developed a certain degree of success, your ability to focus will become more scattered than ever. People will want your time and attention. Countless “opportunities” will present themselves to you.

You will be highly swayed by these opportunities. People will sense that special spirit about you. They’ll want what you have. They’ll be persistent and relentless about getting your time and energy directed toward their goals.

You’ll have a hard time saying “no.” Given that you’ve learned how to be productive, you’ve developed amazing capabilities and confidence — you’ll try to extend yourself beyond harmonious limits.

You’ll try to satisfy people you shouldn’t satisfy. It will end up costing you a great deal — in emotions, time, and self-respect (and will also cost others their time as well).

And it struck me that this focus and success that the article speaks off are related to so much more than business and earning money (which is what I thought at the start).

It's actually something I've been doing the last few years - although I didn't know how smart I was being.

A few years ago I made bucket lists of my friends and family. I divided them into A's B's and C's depending on how important they were to me. And every now and then I'd revise the lists and move people up and down. This was not done with any specific goal in mind. I just wanted to know who was important and who was not. But once I did that I suddenly realised it made my life so much simpler.

I've limited 'social energy'. That's energy for any task involving another human being or any task that isn't on my [very short] list of things I really love to do - Read, sleep, cook, eat, solve puzzles - in no particular order. [I'm not including listening to music here because I never do that as a stand alone activity. Music rarely requires, or gets, my entire focus. Instead it's the background to my entire day]

So yes, getting back to social energy, I don't have much. Suddenly thanks to my grading system I didn't have to struggle to make decisions about what to say yes to, it's easy.

[Of course easy is relative - For most people my mind probably seems too complex - but I can't help it - This is really what I do every time I have to make a decision that involves using social energy.]

So anyway, now I have very clear rules about what I'd do for people in these categories -

The A's - I'll do pretty much anything for this bunch. Up to but not including donating my organs. I'm not going to hamper my health for anyone - guess that's the privilege of not having a husband and kids. :D If I get married and have kids I'll have to create another higher category for them. [I did spend an entire week on bread and eggs because I lent all my money to a friend who needed money urgently but I don't think that hampered my health -- it probably improved it!]

The B's - I enjoy their company, like them a lot, and will do a lot for them as long as it doesn't require major sacrifices.

The C's - I like these people when they are around but won't go out of my way to meet them. I'll help them out if they ask and I'm able to do it without any significant hardship (but then that I'd probably do for a stranger too)